Well that didn't happen

I thought I'd come on here to see my last post and get reinspired...would you know it I'm exactly the same weight as of this morning LOL. what are the odds. I'm a yo-yoer! I'm on Weight Watchers but I go down one week up the next which means I'm not following program! I'm good one week and then lose focus the next. My head is so not in the game. Between dance competitions for Becca and Kevin's schooling I havn't stuck to things for me. And there's no excuse I've had every opportunity and a very supportive family...so why have I not been able to do it? Beats me. For me this is all mental. I think I should see a shrink or something.

Actually I was doing really well until my mom said "what happened? I thought you were doing so well?" yep it still bugs me and that was over a month ago...I let it derail me but it's like I was waiting for something to happen for the excuse! NO EXCUSES!!!!! I did this.

I'm not promising a weight loss goal...it's a number...yes it makes me feel better when it's lower but that's all it is. My focus this week is to drink my water (been a difficult one for me), and walk 4 times this week 20 minutes minimum. Small steps right?! I also need to get back to journalling but I've been so bad at that...I don't want to promise I'll do it yet...let me get the water and some activity started this time.

Usually I'm an all or nothing person I start with grand plans and go great guns doing everything right but then I "fall off the wagon" when I don't do one step like journal or my water. Sooooo now we are all about easing into it...getting the small things to become habit again. I used to drink ocean's of water...now I'm back to diet pepsi (evil it is).

I found my cross stitch to work on while watching TV so I can work on curbing those evening snacks. Again small steps.

Water and 20 mins minimum 4 times this week...let's see how we do shall we?

New Year same me but improved :)

So this isn't a New Year's resolution....this is a New Year Holy Shit how did I get this big again thing!!!! It's official...I'm just under 7 lbs from my highest weight ever!!!!!! I stepped on the scale this morning and uttered the words "HOLY SHIT". Our batteries dies in our scale and we bought new ones last week...it was a surprise but after an evening of entertaining and eating like a pig (you know the last hurrah) my scale reflected my lack of continuing my weight loss. Yes I fell off the wagon and in style at that!!! I went from working so hard to finally get to Onederland and back to 213.2!!! Can I say it again...wait let's try something new WTF!!! (any Modern Family fans...why the face LOL). So I have some new resolve. I know I'm not perfect and I will mess up but I need to lose weight. For my and for my family. I was putting off working out for a while because I was getting chest pains...but at my last physical my doctor said I'm as healthy as a horse...she didn't even bring up my weight until I did...but my heart is perfect (just muscle strain...many women get when they gain weight in the breast tissue (only good thing to weight gain in my books LOL)). So I have the go ahead to exerciise and it just comes down to me! I have to take it easy at first as I pulled a muscle in my hip the other week...but doc said start with whatever I can...even 12 minutes walking is better than nothing as she put it...and eventually I will crave more...which we all know is true. Kevin and I have both gained weight since July when let's be honest we just plain old stopped trying. But I'm sick of being tired all the time...and for vanity I just plain old hate being fat. So yet again...here is the plan:

1. we are discussing our weight loss system (weight watchers, going alone, etc).
2. empty the house of junk food (chips, candy, etc)...replaced with fruit and popcorn :)
3. drink a ton of water
4. exercise reintroduced to be up'd as time goes on
5. YOGA twice a week at least
6. weigh in ONCE a week...it's proven to work against you to look at the scale every day...you get complacent and think I can have that today because it's only day 2 and I'm down already...when you could be down sooo much more if you just don't step on the scale until weigh in day.
7. love myself mentally...this is the hardest part of weightloss for anyone that has been overweight for a long time. I will love me for me at this weight as I am...I will look in the mirror each morning and find something I love about myself. Finding negative about yourself will only feed the fat.

So that's it...I'm back on here and please just bear with me as I stumble through starting all over again.

Hope my girls are hovering on the blog...I'd love to hear how you are doing.

Today we will decide on our system...and I will empty the cupboards. Sadly the stores are closed today so the stocking up of good stuff will have to start tomorrow as will my official first weigh in.