Monday, April 25, 2011

Well that didn't happen

I thought I'd come on here to see my last post and get reinspired...would you know it I'm exactly the same weight as of this morning LOL. what are the odds. I'm a yo-yoer! I'm on Weight Watchers but I go down one week up the next which means I'm not following program! I'm good one week and then lose focus the next. My head is so not in the game. Between dance competitions for Becca and Kevin's schooling I havn't stuck to things for me. And there's no excuse I've had every opportunity and a very supportive why have I not been able to do it? Beats me. For me this is all mental. I think I should see a shrink or something.

Actually I was doing really well until my mom said "what happened? I thought you were doing so well?" yep it still bugs me and that was over a month ago...I let it derail me but it's like I was waiting for something to happen for the excuse! NO EXCUSES!!!!! I did this.

I'm not promising a weight loss's a number...yes it makes me feel better when it's lower but that's all it is. My focus this week is to drink my water (been a difficult one for me), and walk 4 times this week 20 minutes minimum. Small steps right?! I also need to get back to journalling but I've been so bad at that...I don't want to promise I'll do it yet...let me get the water and some activity started this time.

Usually I'm an all or nothing person I start with grand plans and go great guns doing everything right but then I "fall off the wagon" when I don't do one step like journal or my water. Sooooo now we are all about easing into it...getting the small things to become habit again. I used to drink ocean's of I'm back to diet pepsi (evil it is).

I found my cross stitch to work on while watching TV so I can work on curbing those evening snacks. Again small steps.

Water and 20 mins minimum 4 times this week...let's see how we do shall we?

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year same me but improved :)

So this isn't a New Year's resolution....this is a New Year Holy Shit how did I get this big again thing!!!! It's official...I'm just under 7 lbs from my highest weight ever!!!!!! I stepped on the scale this morning and uttered the words "HOLY SHIT". Our batteries dies in our scale and we bought new ones last was a surprise but after an evening of entertaining and eating like a pig (you know the last hurrah) my scale reflected my lack of continuing my weight loss. Yes I fell off the wagon and in style at that!!! I went from working so hard to finally get to Onederland and back to 213.2!!! Can I say it again...wait let's try something new WTF!!! (any Modern Family fans...why the face LOL). So I have some new resolve. I know I'm not perfect and I will mess up but I need to lose weight. For my and for my family. I was putting off working out for a while because I was getting chest pains...but at my last physical my doctor said I'm as healthy as a horse...she didn't even bring up my weight until I did...but my heart is perfect (just muscle strain...many women get when they gain weight in the breast tissue (only good thing to weight gain in my books LOL)). So I have the go ahead to exerciise and it just comes down to me! I have to take it easy at first as I pulled a muscle in my hip the other week...but doc said start with whatever I can...even 12 minutes walking is better than nothing as she put it...and eventually I will crave more...which we all know is true. Kevin and I have both gained weight since July when let's be honest we just plain old stopped trying. But I'm sick of being tired all the time...and for vanity I just plain old hate being fat. So yet is the plan:

1. we are discussing our weight loss system (weight watchers, going alone, etc).
2. empty the house of junk food (chips, candy, etc)...replaced with fruit and popcorn :)
3. drink a ton of water
4. exercise reintroduced to be up'd as time goes on
5. YOGA twice a week at least
6. weigh in ONCE a's proven to work against you to look at the scale every get complacent and think I can have that today because it's only day 2 and I'm down already...when you could be down sooo much more if you just don't step on the scale until weigh in day.
7. love myself mentally...this is the hardest part of weightloss for anyone that has been overweight for a long time. I will love me for me at this weight as I am...I will look in the mirror each morning and find something I love about myself. Finding negative about yourself will only feed the fat.

So that's it...I'm back on here and please just bear with me as I stumble through starting all over again.

Hope my girls are hovering on the blog...I'd love to hear how you are doing.

Today we will decide on our system...and I will empty the cupboards. Sadly the stores are closed today so the stocking up of good stuff will have to start tomorrow as will my official first weigh in.

Monday, July 19, 2010

So far so good

Well so far so good. Another weekend gone by with multiple visitors which means loads of crap in the house and me eating some of it...and I managed to lose over the weekend!!! Doing a little happy dance. I know it won't always be like that...but now that the pressure is's just naturally happening...slowly but it's happening. I think Becca is enjoying things better as well as far as food goes LOL. We still make her eat her veggies, etc but it's not always healthy so it's not as big a deal. She's always been good about good food but she was starting to rebel cause she just wasn't having what kids want as much. It's still in moderation but not near as strict as it was. She's gained a little but we aren't making a big deal out of it. Just enjoying things. We are going camping this weekend and I'm really excited. We tried the bike rack on the new van and it fits :) So we are taking our bikes and I'm hoping we can rent a canoe while we are there. Either way there will be hiking and swimming and all that fun long as the weather cooperates that is.

Haven't heard from the other Amigos in a while...anyone else want to blog a bit here or there?!?!!? hint hint

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

night snacks

Okay so I seem to be eating healthy and I've definitely been and more baseball. My issue now is night snacking.

Yep...I eat well all day...If I want something not so healthy I eat it in moderation...and that's all under control. And I know I'd be losing weight if I just could control the night snacks. During the day no problem...night time...I'm eating too much. Like last night...I had tostitos...fine it has a LOT of sodium but I know to expect some water retention, etc but I didn't need to go back for another bowl!!! One bowl would have been fine...but I started to feel sick during the second bowl and I continued to eat instead of putting it aside! So in the middle of the night I was up all naseous (hey pepto bismol). I hadn't done that in a while...but I don't want to do that felt awful. So much so that I couldn't eat breakfast this morning cause I still feel full. I brought a granola bar in case I get hungry this morning...I know breakfast is important and I always eat it...but this morning I just couldn't do it.

Night snacks should be limited...I can do this...once I figure this one no diet plan will work! This is my weakness! I won't stop night snacking but I need to control it better. No point in working against my habits...just need to work with them and find a way to control the situation like I do during the day!

BTW...Loving my just live plan!!!! It's so liberating and free!

So sore from baseball two nights in a row but in a good way :)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

what to say?!

What to say?! Usually I have no problem finding something to blog about...not much is going on. I've taken a more relaxed approach to everything. I quit WLW...I was too obsessed over it. I would check it constantly and honestly it was just a place for me to make excuses. To feel okay cause the other people on there would understand. Yes it was a source of first. After a while it was just a place for me to feel sorry for myself...and that's not what I want to do. I don't want to dwell on things. I just want to make them happen. So from now on I will only report what I deem worthy of blogging about. That means not being on here every day and just enjoying life with the family.

My friend Sara told me about her weight issues and how alot of it stemmed from watching her mom try to lose weight (half assed) her entire life. I don't want that for Becca. So I made a promise to myself (that's huge for me not to be taken lightly at all)...I promised myself that I wouldn't say I can't have that it's not on program in front of Becca. I want her to have a healthy relationship with food. So no more "programs" just us as a family making healthy decisions. If Becca wants a snack I will give her options healthy and not so healthy and she can choose what she thinks is the best thing to have...and you know what if she chooses a "bad" snack who cares I know she will choose the healthy ones as's all about the balance. If I tell her she can't have something she'll just do what I do...want it more. So we will do the following:
1 Provide nutritious foods through out each day
2 Have veggies with lunch and dinner (most days)
3. Always have fruits and nuts available for snacks
4. Do something active each day
5. Wii fit Mon-Wed-Fri-Sat-Sun
6. Have fun and live life.

Life is not about a diet or food or any of's about living and enjoying what you have while you have it.

We went out for dinner last night just Kevin and I...I had was so yummy...and I didn't finish the whole plate...I ate about half of it and the chicken...and it felt nice. I didn't need anything more. It felt great and this morning I was down...go figure.

I realized that now that the pressure is gone it will just happen as it happens. I'm not going haywire and gorging...what I'm doing is having what I want and being conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth. Don't go overboard and don't go the extreme the other way either.

Next step is to get the supplements we need to ensure we are getting the proper nutrients and then that's it. Just LIVE! I think Becca will notice the difference too. I wasn't passing on the things mom's should pass how to bake or just cooking in general...our palates became so boring. I'm really looking forward to just having a family meal of want we want rather than thinking about how to make it compliant to a program :) real foods cooked how we like it...and honestly other than our poor choices snacking we usually had healthy meals. When Kevin cooks it's always good. It's when we have take out that we fail :)

Time to live!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Baseball rocked!

Well we didn't win but I'm not sure how that happened.

We played amazing!!! I got home twice (ran my ass off)...although the second time doesn't count as we had 2 out and they got a runner out at second just as I crossed the finish line...I crossed and then I heard out at that kinda sucks. I was breathless cause I ran hard and it didn't even count :( But it still felt great to not be out on my account.

Also our team got 2 double plays last night (better than my hubby's team ;) )! AND we mercied them in the second inning! We would have won if there was no mercy rule. We got our 7th run in and they called mercy as the other 3 people were on their way to was well out there and it would have been awesome to count those other 3 runs...that and we mercied them with only 1 out that inning. We ended up losing 11-8. But as far as I'm concerned it was a great game! We had a blast. And the captain's hubby/boyfriend was there and he had us all doing the wave and cheering from the bench it was hilarious. Only 1 bad thing last night...the sheer amount of mosquitoes!!! We were batting in the outfields or at least it felt that way...swatting all the time.

Today it's raining and glum out but I'm not letting that stop me. Nor am I letting the fact that I slept in today and didn't get my exercise in stop me. I WILL EXERCISE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

Taking charge now!!!! It's what I've gotta do...otherwise I'll just end up back being miserable again...and really who wants that!

Monday, June 21, 2010

ummm so yeah

yup I did 2 days of the 30 day shred and then dropped the ball...well the first day was Becca taking forever in the bath and then I didn't have time for my workout before going to work. So lesson learned is that if I don't work out in the just doesn't happen.

I was active a lot this weekend...made a lot of use of the pool :) However I don't think floating and splashing is exercise LOL. And we went to the movies and out for dinner, etc,etc. So the food part of things was off as well...and as usual didn't get hardly any fluids in on the weekend. It's not just water...I just tend not to drink anything for most of the weekend. I forget to really.

So I'm sitting here at my desk drinking my water and blogging hoping it will re-motivate me again. I was so motivated after my freak out last week. And it's not like I feel I can't do it or anything now...I know I can. I'm just complacent and that's that dangerous area to be in this journey. So before I go downward spiralling I'm recognizing the complacency and focusing on my food intake.

Tonight is baseball yay!!!! I'll get my exercise in for sure today.