Baseball Game 2!

OMG That was sooo much fun. We had less people and we did better this week. I got my first official hit and made it to first base on my own accord...and then got out at second...also got walked to first later but our team got out while I was waiting to run. I played right and left field and rover and made an awesome play which we all thought got the runner out but the ump ruled safe and what the ump says goes. But what fun!!!!!!!! Seriously had a blast and my leg didn't start hurting until the last inning in the field funny enough not while I was running.

Just thought I'd let you all know my day ended much better than it started and I got a good workout in while having fun :)

Moody and Venting with other things

hmmm so I'm not sure what to say today. I'm moody as something should be starting soon...and I ate crap all weekend. yep I'm a weekend eater now and weekday dieter...not good. My weekend weight gain out weighs my weekday diet weight loss :( This weekend started with Friday night having a wrap that was actually quite good for me...then an ice cream cone (there goes the lactose thing) then some popcorn. Then Saturday I had a healthy breakfast, lunch was good too...as was dinner...then I went to the movies (Iron Man 2 loved it) I had popcorn with shakers, sweedish berries which my brother bought and a kit kat bar eek! Then Sunday morning (mother's day) My hubby made a special breakfast which I knew was going to be not good for me...it was Grilled blueberry and Mascarpone stuffed French Toast...it was like cheese cake wrapped in french toast...amazing...but more of a dessert than a breakfast...so yummy but very very rich!!! Anyway then I had grilled cheese for lunch, ice cream, cracker jacks (yep they still exist), dinner was maple salmon (had two sections) and sweet potato fries...and another ice cream!!! Now I know most of my weight is water weight and yes the food wasn't the best...but I"m hoping it's more TOM related and comes off easy (I can dream). Oh yeah and I had diet pepsi at the movies and last night at home...oops

I'm drinking my water but it's not going down as easy as I want it too...I'm usually onto my second litre by now...gotta step that up a notch!!!

I have my healthy lunch packed and I'm not actually taking a lunch today as I have to go buy tickets for Becca's dance recital after work and I'm leaving early to get in line. Tonight I have baseball!!!! I'm excited as always but I really am not feeling on the ball today so I hope I feel better by then.

Oh yeah I woke up light headed and dizzy today...likely from getting up too fast and TOM and allergies...they all do that to me at times....lucky me it's all at once today. I'm getting through it all no problem just hoping the water flushes things out of my system and really want my "friend" to start so I can be me again!!!! Be moody sucks...especially when in your head you are saying don't say that...and be nicer...but you just sound like a bitch anyway. It was freezing in the office today and they've had the A/C on for weeks now...today it's 13 degrees forcast for the high today...I came in and freaked on the guys...it's so cold in here...I put on the heat and said this is ridiculous I'm frozen and there's no need for it to be 12 degrees in our section...yep it was 12 degrees!!!!!!! Are you friggen kidding me!!!! Still mad thinking about it! See...moody!!!!

Mother's Day

I've been told breakfast will not be diet friendly today!!! Of course the popcorn at the movies last night wasn't either :) Good news is once I was told breakfast was going to be not so healthy we sat down and planned to have a healthy lunch and dinner to go with it.

I didn't do so well with my water yesterday...got hardly any at all and I had a soda at the movies which I planned on (so bad I know). Today however will be no soda and will entail loads of water to help flush the movie snacks and breakfast this morning ;)

Hope all the mommy's have a great day...I'm told I get to do what I want today. So I've opted for comfy clothes and possibly a TV day but I want to get some exercise in as well...oh and I have to do laundry...some things don't stop because it's mother's day :)

I love walking

I went for a walk on my lunch hour and we did the full hour it was awesome. Three of us girls from the office went and it was nice to stretch my legs and use some muscles. We even broke a good sweat which we didn't notice so much until we got back to the car to go back to work. You see the wind was blowing big time...it was nice as it was resistance at the beginning...then we turned around and couldn't see for our hair being blown about LOL. So we didn't notice how hard we had worked until we were out of the wind in the car and then all three of us were sweating LOL. Good work out!!!!! I love it! And I'm going to have more exercise tonight...Kevin and I and maybe some of his team mates are going to practice at the diamond after dinner. I want to try and see if I'm any good at pitching...and I'd like to work on my batting as well.

Well it's Thursday...one more day of the work week. I'm so focused right now on weight loss that I get frustrated that I have to go to work instead of working out like on BL...if only they'd come to Canada...I would apply to go on that show!!! Imagine Jillian and Bob screaming...sounds so nice...in a sick masochistic way I suppose LOL. Being away from family would be hard but think of how much you could give back to them when you are done.

Oh and here's an update on my list from the other day.

1. Journal - check every day completed
2. Baseball - Monday check
3. P90X - hasn't happened NEED TO WORK ON THIS
4. Water - every day check...although a little behind today.
5. No Soda - three days and counting check
6. Lactose Free - *sigh* oh cheese how art thee...check sadly wait no...I have yogurt everyday!!! that's not lactose free!!!! crap
7. Blog - sir yes sir...check
8. Honest and kind to myself - I'll say yes...I haven't been hugging myself but I haven't been criticizing myself either :)
9. Gabriel Method - every night check!!!

So far so good on the list...need to work on looking in the mirror and finding good things and P90X!!!! oh and be MORE lactose free :(

IT REALLY WORKS!!!

BIGGEST LOSER ALERT

okay it's not rocket science and we've proven it time and time again but I have to say it now that I've had a few good days...sticking with healthy eating really works!!! My scale was down 2 lbs from yesterday...you know why...no chocolate bars at lunch, no closet eating, I was honest with myself and everyone here, and most importantly no night snacks. Well I had a snack but not popcorn (which always throws me off course and not ice cream)...I had a smoothie. I had smoothies almost every night as a snack at the beginning of my true weight loss in January and it worked then...you know what...it works now too. The smoothies are sweet and healthy and keeps me satisfied until morning. The perfect snack!

I might not be lighter than I was 2 or 3 weeks ago but I'm back on track and that means I'll be lighter soon...I was hovering and then started to gain little by little...I was in denial! I thought cause i cheated once I could do it over and over again...but that just leads to a complete derailment for me. I know it'll happen again...we all do it and really it's likely our body resets during that time...but I'm back for now and I'm hoping not to be derailed again for a long while. It's like a little kid...you can say no to a toy over and over again and they are good with it but one day they just have that temper tantrum...I was having my temper tantrum...and now I've calmed down and realized that I can move on.

Oh and the other thing that I've proven time and time again...soda makes you gain weight or at least not lose weight...I only drink diet and yet it still happens. Soda is evil. And yet I fall back on that one the most. It's like once I have one I want more and more...I suppose that's how they get you. It's so bad for you in so many ways...teeth, weight, skin...you name it soda affects it...carbonation is not healthy and aspartame is worse. Diet soda is worse than regular soda...at least with regular you know you are having something unhealthy and aren't being tricked into thinking you are doing something good for your body. If you drank regular chances are you'd only have 1 here or there...but have diet and you drink 2-5 a day...crazy!!! So I cut out soda yesterday and my weight drops as well...hmmm

No exercise last night...I enjoyed my smoothie while watching the Biggest Loser...it was makeover week and I always love that episode. Although I didn't care for the sylist this time...if you have to say you are the go-to person for hair styling...chances are you're not. I felt so bad for Michael still having to shop alone...that part was sad but he looks great even if he is 300 lbs.

Alright on with the rest of my day, tonight is going to be crazy busy so I need to be organized to make sure I stay on track.

Baseball and new beginnings

Well I did it. I played my first game of baseball last night and it felt awesome!!!! We only got to play the one game out of our double header as the town forgot to turn on the main breaker for the lights at the park so they had someone come out and turn them on BUT by that time it was too late to start our game as there was another game for 9:30 behind us so we had our game postponed. But I had soooo much fun playing. I didn't get on base (2 hits but they got the ball to first before I got there and the second one they caught on the fly). But I hit and that felt great. Our team lost 16-0 but that's okay...we had fun and that's all that matters.

Okay now to fess up!!!! I can't be bothered to write it all again so I'm copying and pasting from an email to Kevin earlier :)...the fessing up is #6

A couple things happened this morning that kind of gave me some new resolve…I know I have a long way to go still when it comes to beating this but I’ll get there.


1. I watched the video and looked at the pics from last night (me playing baseball)…didn’t look too bad but not happy with how much better I could be if I just focused on this weight loss
2. Our conversation (he wants me to ask for help as do Jacqui and Lisa...I have the support I should use it)
3. had a lot of water
4. read the comments on my blog
5. read the comments on WLW on the board that I had posted to yesterday so many people felt the same way and reading the responses was so encouraging
6. then I commented on my day yesterday on that board…I was determined not to buy anything yesterday (this is me telling you) I went to the lake to eat and then go for a walk…I got down there and bug’s swarmed the car…anyone walking along the path was swatting and spitting the bugs out all along the path so I did up the windows and thought I’ll eat my lunch in here and see if they go away…only to find out that my dressing seemed off or maybe my tastebuds were…not sure…ended up going to the store and getting a wrap and TWO chocolate bars…downed it so fast and wanted more…but instead of finding an excuse to leave and go to the store (I was at my desk at this point) I decided to eat my orange and surprisingly that cured the craving…apparently my body WAS starving but for nutrients not crap…once I had the orange and the cravings were gone I drank a ton of water and then well you know the rest…baseball, dinner, etc…but writing about it on the board today made me really realize how powerful that orange was…I didn’t even want it…I wanted more crap but I made myself eat it and it really was what my body wanted but my brain was trying to take over. But that helped me to really feel strong today.


So after all that I went for lunch and I knew I had to go to the store to pick up stuff for dinner tonight...and I DID IT...I didn't cave. I was so strong and thought about a couple of things as I passed them but then thought nope I'm good...so I picked up a flavoured water instead...I also save my orange from lunch for this afternoon when I get a little peckish :) Need to buy more fruit.

hmmm

Well I clearly have got to be more focused on healthy choices. I'm getting the activity in but my food choices are still terrible. I'm like a kid on hallowe'en night dying to rip into all the goodies...I just can't get enough and then I feel sick after I've eaten such crap. And I'm being delusional thinking I'm doing okay...I'm so out of control. Both of us are really.

Yesterday Kevin and I went to a park and did a little coaching session for my first softball game tonight!!! EEEEK! And Saturday I went to the local highschool and walked/ran the track for 30 minutes. Did about 2km but can only run about 100 metres at a time and then it takes more than 100 metres to catch my breath...hmmm 5 weeks until the 5K gotta get going on that. Sadly I noticed something Saturday and then again on Sunday...my weight has finally affected me! I know weird right. I've been overweight so long but I've managed fine...sure I can't run and play with Becca so easily but I've always made it work. Saturday my weight directly affected what I could do on the track and again yesterday at the park. I have Varicose Veins in my left leg. I've always just thought of them as veins close to the skin but in the last little while they've become more prominent as my weight went up. Now that I'm getting active they are starting to ache..well more than ache they actually hurt. At first I thought I was getting a shin splint again (as I've had those before) but then I noticed it was just the one leg and it was only hurting EXACTLY where my veins were visible...and they are starting to be raised!!!!! It runs in my family but I really had hoped it wouldn't come to this!!!

The catch 22 is this...to make the veins better I need to lose weight...to lose weight I need to exercise...but exercise hurts the veins!!!! I know I have to suck it up buttercup and just deal with it...but I'm just so frustrated and mad at myself for letting things get so out of control for so long!!!! To quote Cher....if I could turn back time!!!!! *sigh* okay enough of the pity party. Time to kick things up a notch...here's the plan (I always do better with a plan :) )

1. Journalling starts again today...been a little lazy with that and not just what I'm supposed to eat but everything that goes in my mouth gets written down...if I have a chocolate bar I'm writing it down...I'm lying to me when I don't!
2. Enjoy Baseball every Monday
3. Start P90X that helped me stay on track really well
4. DRINK MY WATER!!!!!
5. cut out soda even diet
6. Live lactose free and see if that helps me again...I'll miss you cheese :(
7. Blog each day to keep myself on track
8. Be honest and kind to myself
9. Continue Gabriel Method

I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS...for me!