meh

Feeling a little Meh...I hate saying this because I've been trying to be so positive lately. I know the last two weeks have been off track so to say...and the scale reflected that yesterday. UP 4.5 lbs...that comp ended and I ate super awful this weekend. I'm talking Tim Horton's, New York Fries, Manicotti, cakes, chocolate eclairs...really what did I expect...there's more...alot of popcorn and pop...but I just can't be bothered to write it all down.

Either way I have to dust myself off and get back to it. Yesterday after lunch I was so positive and then this morning I'm blah. Maybe it's TOM coming soon or maybe it's just a bit of the blues because I'm not where I want to be. Either way I need out of this funk but I really kind of just need a blah day...sounds bad I know but we all need a woe is me day and it looks like today is it...who knows I might come back from lunch all happy and positive again like yesterday...going to do my smart mode session at the lake...but I make no promises!

Honestly (and this isn't meant to make anyone feel guilty) I've missed my amigos...they kind of just fell off the face of the earth for a while...and obviously they had their reasons and maybe they just needed that to regroup but I miss them and I didn't realize how much I depended on them being here. But in the future I can't let someone else being thrown off course throw me off course. Gotta figure that out too.

blah blah blah

UPDATE: went to the lake at lunch...didn't cheer me up like it usually does...in fact I feel like I have my own personal storm cloud over my head LOL. I managed to drown my sorrows in chocolate instead...that's okay...I know this is the bottom of that pit of despair so it's only up from here. See there's a little light shining through my cloud I just needed to accept the mood and now it's lightening...even if only a little.