push up/sit up challenge and some ramblings

Well today is the 9th so we are at 9 push ups and 18 sit ups. Funny I've been doing mine in the evening instead of first thing in the morning and my Becca is doing it with me...she's loving it. She sits on my feet while I'm doing my sit ups and gives me a kiss when I get up to the top :) What a cutie...then I hold her feet too. She's doing the man push ups while I do the girly ones LOL.

I didn't do any other fitness the last two nights...just wasn't feeling it...must be the weather yuck.

Okay just so you know the next thing is just some ramblings about some personal feelings I've had lately...so you've been warned it's long winded and has nothing to do with fitness and honestly probably doesn't make much sense.

Tonight my BFF is coming over with her kids which I'm super excited about. I just hope I can keep my eating clean I tend to eat crappy when she's around. Which is funny because she doesn't eat crappy for the most part...she is super skinny and goes to the gym 5 times a week and is one of those people who can control her food intake no problem (maybe a little too much at some points ;) but she's good about keeping it in check). She's been through so much in the last few years but she's at a point where all her hard work is about to pay off big time. She went back to college and is about to graduate with a new career and I couldn't be more proud of her and she's hoping to move back to where we live so that's another work out buddy :) I've missed her so much...it'll be interesting to see how she and her kids will mesh in with us in our quest for fitness. I don't want to just abandon my hubby (as I tend to do without really knowing it when she's around...gotta work on including him when she's there) as he and I are a team on this journey...but I can't see excluding her either. I feel like over the last few years I haven't been there for her as much as I could have been. Maybe because our lives went in very different directions and our social circles have changed. But we are still the same two people and yes our lives may be different but the foundation of our friendship remains unchanged. She doesn't read this so I'm sure at some point I'll have to talk to her about all of this...I think I just needed to air it out a bit so that I could make sense of it all for me right now. I think the big thing was I just didn't know where I fit into her life when she "moved". She was so busy and for the most part I figured it was school but she had time for other people in her life so then I started to worry if things had just changed too much and she didn't have time for me. Then I realized how selfish that was of me but it was there. The last little while we've started to see her around a little more and it feels just like it used to. I know there's room in her life for us now it'll just be interesting to see what that dynamic will be like when she moves back down. I'm not worried just curious now. I know she must be insanely nervous as this is a huge step that she's been dreaming about for a long time. I just want her to be happy and to rekindle that friendship no matter how it's changed. I've missed having her around in my life and I've missed being there for her.

So I guess my biggest things are these:

1. I want her to be happy but I want her to move close to us where I can be there for her more :) that and having her as a neighbour was always one of our dreams.
2. I know things have changed (but in a good way) but I just want my friend back
3. I have to remember to pay attention to my hubby as I can lose that balance between those two (yes Kev you will always be my BFF too)
4. It's selfish but I want her to want to spend time with us whether she's busy or not (we used to spend every weekend together as families no word of a lie...people used to feel neglected because we spent so much time at each other's places).
5. Most importantly I want her to know that even though her life has changed so much I will always be there for her and I need her too.
6. That needing her thing is a new realization really...I mean I always knew I liked having her around but I do need her in my life not just on the outskirts where she's been. She's been that missing link in our lives. I need that girl time and it's just not the same if it's not her.
7. I have to remember not to ignore my other friends...really just have to mash them all together at the same time and just let it be what it is...Alesha gets along with anyone so she'll mesh with any group we could possibly have over.

okay I've rambled long enough and feel like I'm repeating myself. I'm sure this isn't done but it's given me alot to mull over and it was nice to get it all out there (although Kev knew most of this...I'm lucky to have him to listen to me even in my darkest times of missing my friend).